Monday, December 26, 2005

Hara kiri - walking the tight rope

Today I’ll start off with the memory freshest in my mind. Dinner - It can get pretty monotonous eating home cooked food. Appa and Amma took our guests out to our best restaurant in town and I very boldly insisted I join. Dr. Alok in hemat had told me that it was OK to eat in this particular place because the food is good and he said if I did get an upset tummy I just need let him know and He’s start me on some antibiotics! It was such a treat to eat out. I really enjoyed it. Dressed up in my new Christmas T-shirt from Rajan Acchachan and Annie ammama in Singapore – I made full use of my one on-chemo meal out. (other’s on chemo in India at least, please don’t follow my example!).
Today was a lovely day – it started off cool and foggy, but the day was really pleasant. I spent a while in the garden doing some photography. I will put in some pictures later on my thoughts page. Anne left to hospital to study and Tripti went in to work today. My maid heard me wrong and made me 3 omlettes instead of 3 dosai’s for breakfast! I’ll probably die of an MI before anything else has a chance to get me.
I managed to get some clearing up done and got rid of a lot of paper that I’ve been filing in my filing cabinet (financial and old study material). It’s funny about the brain if it has even the foggiest doubt about the use of printed material decides to keep it. Anyway, today I hope I have weeded my filing cabinet well enough!
Post chemo effects are filtering in now, the Vincristine has really numbed my fingers. I kept dropping my orange peices onto my plate - realized that I am not holding them firmly enough- not getting the feedback from my fingers as before. The skin on my fingertips are peeling and starting to burn every time I wash with soap. My left arm is much better though, and I think the thrombus is dissolving out hence less pain.
But life is good and the day ends well - so well that I choose to start my post with the memory of the good meal eaten in the security of a safe restaurant. You must remember that half of India lives without that security. Today many remember those loved ones, houses and livelihoods lost to the "tsunami" - a word alien to our side of the planet, now spoken of with about as much (negative) 'reverance' as you would say 'cancer'! I go to sleep next to a beautiful (but tired) Anne in a house that more than keeps us safe. Counting your blessings is something I could do, but God hasn't given me enough fingers!!!.. P.s.. this is a snap of home from the driveway.