Sunday, January 15, 2006
"I am not what I want to be.
I am not what I hope to be.
I am not what I ought to be.
But still, I am not what I used to be.
And by the grace of God,
I am what I am." John Newton
Beautiful words, and probably most appropriate for me! I read them in chapel this evening from the order of service. The new batch of students had lead the service in Chapel and it was well done. The vesper they sang, "Shepherd of my Soul" was a song our batch had done as theme song in our first year too. It brought back memories of those days, preparing for these services of the CMC worship community.
The Staff entertainment has probably taken it's toll on me. Even though it was an exciting evening, I think I was really dehydrated through the programme. (I neglected taking a bottle of water with me). The entire day today, has gone with a feeling like I've been run over by a steam roller. There has been a lot on my mind, but I guess the effects of chemo causing tiredness can not be taken lightly. I'm making up for it now, Anne has been making glass after glass of fresh lime juice and I'm feeling a bit better.
It's only a week to go, and when you are down..even though it's just a week - there are voices in my head that say enough! I've just had enough - at times...! I was greatly encouraged this week by Anna and Dr. MC Mathew's card to us. The poem will be on the thoughts - "Begone unbelief, with Christ in the Vessel we will smile at the Storm". Because even though my storm is clearing, my boat still rocks.